Folks,
I got this in my email and since this is so relevant to the lives of
folks in their golden age, I am sharing it here. Read on...
A good laugh for people in the over 50 group !!! Also for those who know people like us.
When I bought my Blackberry I
thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all
without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and
communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for
Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2
great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured
I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters
of space..
That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree,
Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and
something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other
program within the texting world.
My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything
except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready
to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.
The kids bought me a GPS for my
last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over
to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool
bench with the Blue Tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I
drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble
talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at
me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it,and I got a little loud.
I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside
that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a
long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say,
"Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was
like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and
then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right
turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship.
When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the
cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as
Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.
To be perfectly frank, I am
still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We
have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I can
lose three phones all at once and have run around digging under chair
cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the
phone rings.
The world is just getting too
complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery
store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but
this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me
for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking
confused, but I never remember to take them in with me.Now I toss it
back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't
matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me
with a blank look.
I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do toot a lot."
P.S.I know some of you are not over 50. I sent it to you to allow you to forward it to those who are.
Have a nice day.
Note:This piece was posted earlier in my other blog.