Friday, April 21, 2006

Marriage between culture.....

I thought that I would discuss about Marriage in this posting, a very important institution of ours or most appropriately that of our Asian Society. In this case I would discuss on the Malay/Moslem Marriage...In Islam marriage is a very important institution, for it is this institution that would ensure our species would flourish on this planet. It is a very sacred institution and not to be taken lightly or just for granted.

Last week I was involved in a Marriage function of a friend's daughter in Malacca..I was requested by the Bride's parent to be the Grand Master of Ceremony of the Akad Nikah [solemnized of marriage] ceremony for the wedding...This particular marriage is unique in that it is between a Malay Lass and a Foreign Lad from the West, so the ceremony had to be conducted unlike the normal one where the ceremony would be conducted in our own language [Malay language] and Arabic..In this case the whole ceremony had to be conducted in English together with the usual languages [Malay and Arabic]..

So as soon as the bridegroom arrived...We all sat on the floor, the Malay traditional way of sitting whenever we have a traditional or religious function.. The bridegroom was lead by a member of our Parliament, a friend of the bride's family and knew this Foreign Lad..I greet them with the usual greeting of welcome and than proceed to conduct the ceremony...Everyone was dressed in their best colorful traditional Malay dress, which consist of the Malay Baju[top] and Seluar [trousers or pan] wrap with the traditional Malay hand woven Songket [brocade] sarong. The women all dress in their best traditional dress, that of the Baju Kurong and other traditional dresses. The are some that came is their best western dress... Turning the ceremony into a riot of colors, indeed a very colorful scene, the like that of a theatric production....In a wedding of this nature the bridegroom came with the Hantaran or Marriage gifts...These beautiful and well decorative gifts were accepted by the host and place beside the gifts from the bride that had already been displayed on a special raised platform. Making its a glittering array of beautifully and artistically wrap gifts of all sized and color....

We had decided to make this ceremony as simple as possible since the bridegroom is not use to such a ceremony and also do not understand the Malay language, as well as not accustom with the Malay culture...For such ceremony to be legal under the Syriah law, the Registrar of Marriage had to be present..In this case the Local Imam is the Registrar and He is present..Since the local Imam could not speak English, another religious official who has the command of the English language were also present, to recite the Marriage Sermon. For today ceremony the Bride's dad had decided to the solemnization the marriage himself. This procedure is allowed only with the presence of the Registrar of Marriage. I start the ceremony by leading all presence in reciting the Al fatihah [the first surah of the Koran]. With that I informed everyone that for this marriage to proceed in order and according to the Syriah..There are four factors that had to be in place first... The presence of a Man and a Woman to be married, both must be of the Islam faith, and the Mas Kahwin in the form of cash amounting of RM40.00, an amount regulated by the Malacca Religious Department. The Mas Kahwin should not be confused as a dowry, there is no dowry in Islam. Dowry is a cultural or a tradition aspect of a race and has nothing to do with the religion.. The Hantaran in the form of gifts that includes money are mere gifts from the bridegroom to the Bride and it is not mandatory. The forth condition is that of the presence of the Khadi or the Registrar of Marriage...In this case the local imam is present...Since every thing are in order, I request the official from the Religious department to recite the Marriage Sermon. With that done and clearly explained to the Bridegroom..The father of the Bride is then request to solemnized the Marriage..Before this is done He is requested to ask the Bride [His daughter] whether She agree to Marry the Lad present today.. She replied Yes and the father solemnized the Marriage in a ceremony of what we call the Akad Nikah....With that the Lad and Lass were proclaimed as Man and Wife...Immediately after this the religious official read the Taklik to the Bridegroom and explain in detail the meaning of the Taklik. It is follow with the handing over of the Mas Kahwin from the groom to the bride and exchange of Rings between the couple. With the formalization of this marriage, I then call upon the Imam to recite the Doa or the Prayer of thanks to the Lord for having graced this auspicious ceremony...

Marriage is the binding of two lovers and we should remember that love is not always sunshine all throughout or bed of roses all the ways...Friends, getting married is the beginning of a relationship between two person..It is in fact the beginning of a journey together...Like I had often said love alone would not makes a marriage successful, understanding and wisdom would...It is not going to be an easy journey but with wisdom the journey would be as colorful as ever... May the newly married have a great life always... Have a nice day.

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